PHILADELPHIA, Pa. — Upon entering his apartment following a night of drinks and appetizers, area woman Shelly Mahan couldn’t help but notice that her date’s place was serial killer clean.
“You’re kind of a neat freak aren’t you,” joked Shelly, noting the pristine hardwood floors in the living room, the spotless knife collection in his kitchen, and the perfectly dusted swords and axes hanging above the couch.
Shelly was reportedly very impressed to see that not only was his bed perfectly made but the chainsaw lying next to it was spotless and impeccably oiled and well-kept.
Sources confirmed that unlike Shelly’s past boyfriends’ apartments, her date’s didn’t have a single item out of place, almost as if he was obsessed with cleanliness to a terrifying degree.
“I absolutely love how well you’ve maintained all these statues and paintings of the female form,” Shelly commented.
Final reports showed that Ms. Mahan’s family and friends have not heard from Shelly in three days, observing that she’s kind of gone missing person-quiet.
Tommy Molzahn keeps hydrochloric acid under his sink for cleaning only.
Image by Rooey.