White Smoke Coming From NFL Headquarters Signifies Selection Of New Official Pizza


NEW YORK — Hours of anxious waiting were finally rewarded for thousands of devoted adherents today as they finally witnessed white smoke issuing from the NFL headquarters at 345 Park Avenue, signifying to the world that wait was over and that a new official pizza sponsor had been chosen.

After days of deliberation among top NFL officials, Pizza Hut has been awarded the honor of replacing Papa John’s, which had been the official pizza since 2010 but controversial and disparaging remarks from the CEO caused the relationship to become strained.

League supporters have been enthusiastic about the choice.

“It’s Pizza Hut!” exclaimed one devout NFL fan on the street outside, tears steaming down his face.

“I don’t always eat pizza, but when I do I like to reach for an official sponsor of a sport I like,” said David Preston who traveled all the way from Milwaukee to witness the historic event. “Yeah, Papa Johns is still the sponsor of Major League Baseball, but I’m not so much into baseball. Too boring.”

For some, this was a matter of tradition. “I remember when Coke was dropped as the official sponsor back in 2002,” said Ryan Clarke of Grand Rapids, Mich. “I was in sixth grade and my dad woke us all up and we hopped in the van to come here. He said we had to hurry because something amazing was about to happen. We drove through the night to make it here before they announced the new one.”

“I’m just glad I got to witness history being made,” Clarke said as he took a drink from a can of Pepsi. “I wish my dad was still with us.”

“I really wanted some pizza last night so I called Papa Johns, like I always do, but before they picked up I heard on the TV that they weren’t the official pizza of football anymore,” said Jason Brown who made the trip from Dayton, Ohio. “I’m just really hungry. I had some Frito Lay products to tide me, but now I’m really hankering for some pizza.”

After the announcement, the thousands of loyal fans were seen streaming through the streets in search of any number of the almost 7,200 convenient Pizza Hut locations across the country.

Adam Sokol is more invested in who the official rental car of the NHL is.

Image by packerville.