CINCINNATI, Ohio — A local father was left bewildered upon leaving a TGI Fridays on Stone Creek Boulevard Thursday night, after his well-executed pun caused a Fridays server to fall madly in love with him, sources reported.
“I was making my typical jokes that drive my kids crazy,” Lewis Thompson, 52, explained. “But then the waitress went bonkers. Gosh, it felt like the scene from Basic Instinct when Sharon Stone flaunted her lady-business!”
As soon as he and his two sons were seated Thompson immediately directed a dad pun at their server Erin LaChance, who became so transfixed by his humor she nearly spilled the water pitcher.
“I said ‘Hi, I’m Erin and I’ll be your server tonight’ and he said ‘Hi, I’m Lewis and I’ll be your customer tonight’ and the chemistry just exploded,” LaChance said. “The man is fire.”
The intense attraction continued throughout the service. Every pun Thompson provided made his sons more annoyed, but LaChance kept falling harder for him, leaving him entirely perplexed.
“At one point we hadn’t finished our lettuce wraps and Erin said she’d box them up for us, and I said ‘No, let us wrap them,'” Thompson said, “and boy I tell ya, at that point she climbed onto my lap and said things to me way wilder than anything my ex-wife ever said, I’ll tell you that!”
“My khakis and LaCoste shirt were drenched in sweat!” Thompson added.
Thompson ended up declining LaChance’s advances, which at one point included the temptation of running away to Paris for a month. It appears dad puns are meant more for the joke teller, than the joke receiver. Love and lust will live on in humankind, but not at this chance meeting here in Cincinnati.
“It’s a shame, I would’ve pounded him like a sledgehammer on a parking lot,” LaChance concluded.
Michael Martin once seduced a Taco Bell drive-thru employee.