Unemployed Yiannopoulos Now Giving Literal Free Speeches


LOS ANGELES — The controversial and recently unemployed alt-right commentator Milo Yiannopoulos has been spotted at various locations around Los Angeles giving out his brand of fiery, provocative cultural takes for free, sources have reported.

According to his publicist this is part of his new Jobless Faggot tour.

Yiannopoulos was forced to resign his post at Breitbart News and was uninvited from the annual CPAC conference last week after a wholly unsurprising video surfaced of him taking the act too far and endorsing pedophilia. A lucrative deal for an upcoming Yiannopoulos book, reportedly titled Dangerous, was subsequently canceled, leaving the self-described “free-speech fundamentalist” unemployed and giving speeches for free to anyone that will listen.

“He doesn’t seem very dangerous to me and he’s got a fancy accent,” said local homeless man Monte Harris who has seen Yiannopoulos hanging around the area recently. “I enjoy his little free speeches.”

A statement from Simon & Schuster confirmed the disintegration of the book deal: “We have decided to cancel Mr. Yiannopoulos’ book and probably change the name of our publishing house as well. A few months ago an intern told us ‘hey, there is this British, far-right, openly gay writer’ and we didn’t even let him finish the sentence. We signed Milo to a book deal right there. But after looking into some of his work, wow–he is a total dickhole.”

The statement continued: “Also, we fired that intern.”

Yiannopoulos was unavailable for comment, but was seen bothering a couple seated at a Quizno’s off Sunset Boulevard. The couple reported later that Yiannopoulos tried to explain why consent wasn’t important, as he took bites of their sandwich without asking.

Cole Moser was slated to make $125,000 for this article until audio surfaced of him calling the troops gay.

Image by wikimedia and latimes.com.