The Two Republicans Watching Tony Awards Turn TV Off In Disgust


CHEYENNE, Wyo. — The only two conservative viewers of the 72nd Tony Awards broadcast on CBS were appalled at the disrespect shown to President Trump at the annual celebration of Broadway theater, sources have reported.

Roger and Dawn Hillicutt of rural Wyoming watched in horror as actor Robert De Niro directed profanity at the president and was met with raucous applause from the packed Radio City Music Hall audience.

“We watch the Tonys every year to marvel at the creative achievements of all the women and gay men that comprise the theater of New York, a city that we’ve never been to,” said Dawn, 61. “We do not expect to hear those people–who disagree with everything the president says and does–criticize the president.”

“Pageantry, dance, a possible glimpse of Hugh Jackman– that’s why we tune in,” explained Roger, 66. “Yes there are only two of us, but we are livid.”

The Hillicutts immediately turned their TV off and called their local CBS affiliate to complain about the incident.

“I cannot believe the queer Jews who control everything would allow this to happen,” Roger continued. “Harvey Fierstein, who I loved in Hairspray, has betrayed us for the last time.”

CBS executives reached out to the Hillicutts to express how much they are valued as the only Republican Tony Awards viewers and offered them a behind-the-scenes tour of the Young Sheldon set.

Despite their anger over the incident, the couple remains excited to see a local production of RENT, which they believe to be the story of a hardworking landlord trying to get money out of his lazy minority tenants.

Cole Moser believes that the Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera is a secret libertarian.

Image by jalexartis, cameraeyephotography.