By guest blogger Ashleigh Dorwin
Iceland has been the IT vacation destination for anyone in their 20s and 30s for the last few years. If you have an Instagram account and a couple of trendy friends, then you’ve surely known about the glaciers and urine-soaked fish people have clamored for in search of something that will make them fun and exciting. I wanted to seem cool and interesting like they did. I wanted to halt dinner conversations with my stories no one could relate to about my “personal journey” in Reykjavik.
I wanted a personality, the kind of personality that one only gets by traveling to make up for their lack of a real personality.
So I booked my trip to Iceland. I explored what the country had to offer. And then I came back, and I regret to inform everyone that I came back the same.
I couldn’t believe it. I walked around Iceland’s little troll villages, ate fish things that I couldn’t pronounce, and saw a bunch of ice and ocean. And for what? So I could come back and still be really into wine, brunch, and 5Ks?
When I looked at people’s gorgeous #nofilter Iceland photos and heard their stories of how the people there are so dumb that they believe in elves, I thought, “Why not me?” Am I not also deserving of a fresh new look on life and something to talk about endlessly for the next few years?”
I thought Iceland would change me and make me a more interesting person to anyone I met, or at least anyone I matched with on Tinder; but I’ve come to find that no one cares. Literally no one cares. People on Tinder just go, “Oh cool, you went to Iceland. Do you like movies? What are your political views?” And it’s like, um, hello! I didn’t spend $300 roundtrip on a shitty flight to Reykjavik where everyone speaks some kind of viking language that sounds like gibberish for me to have to state opinions on things other than how pretty a sunset looks over a glacier. What the fuck? And the worst thing is that anyone I talked to who has already been to Iceland just wants to one-up me about how they went to Cuba during the one year Americans could travel there. YEAH OKAY I GET IT I MISSED MY CHANCE TO HAVE A PERSONALITY.
To get over my obvious disappointment and continual lack of an individual personality, I have decided to get really into pizza and weed. If I come out of this stronger, then I promise to get really into music-festival fashion as a personality next summer. Please respect my new personality choices during this difficult time.
Ashleigh Dorwin is actually Stephanie Weber who actually liked pizza and Iceland before it was cool, namaste.