SAN FRANCISCO — Admitting he was a little embarrassed the idea hadn’t occurred to him before, area toddler Lucas Anders told reporters he was watching a televised PSA when he suddenly realized a metal fork would fit perfectly into an electrical outlet.
“Until this point I’ve only tried getting in their with my little fingers— and that one time I tried using my mouth. But, if what this video shows is accurate, the thing I use to eat food would fit in there way better,” said Anders immediately after seeing a public service announcement that illustrated the dangers of allowing children his age to play near electrical equipment and cautioned parents to cover any exposed wall outlets in their home or risk their child giving themselves a violent shock. “When I think about it now, it just makes so much sense. The prongs are basically the perfect width apart to be jabbed right in there.”
The precocious two-year-old noted that this discovery has the potential to be bigger than the time he realized he could probably swallow most of the smaller pieces of his favorite toys or that the cabinet under the sink with all the different colored bottles was at the perfect height for him to open. Until now, easy access to whatever it is his parents keep behind the electrical outlet had alluded him.
“Honestly, I’m pretty excited to try it out and finally see what’s going on in there,” Anders added with a toothy grin. At press time, the toddler had solidified plans to test his hypothesis the next time his mom looked away for a few seconds.
Dan Neilan does not take any responsibility for toddlers who may electrocute themselves upon reading this article.