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Bret Michaels Points Microphone At Audience For Entire Concert

JANESVILLE, Wis. -- According to sources at a local music venue, ex-Poison frontman Bret Michaels performed a 75-minute concert in which he never actually...

Scientists Abandon Scientific Method: ‘It’s Just Too Hard’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a press conference at the Smithsonian Institution, a spokesperson for science announced Tuesday that they would no longer be using...

Man Chokes On Fortune Cookie, Dies… In Bed

AMWELL, N.J. - A 37-year-old man was found dead Friday evening at his West Amwell apartment. Officials said Ryan McMurtry suffered asphyxiation after eating...

Scientists Abandon Scientific Method: ‘It’s Just Too Hard’

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a press conference at the Smithsonian Institution, a spokesperson for science announced Thursday that they would no longer be using...

Pluto Relegated To Lesser Character Status

ORLANDO, Fla. — A spokesperson for The EPCOT Center announced Wednesday that they have determined Pluto to not have enough qualities to officially be...

Center For Disease Control Releases New Line Of Fall Diseases

ATLANTA, Ga. — The Center for Disease Control unveiled their new line of diseases for the upcoming season on Saturday at this year’s Atlanta...

Psychiatrists To Change Term ‘Dissociative Identity Disorder’ To ‘Bananas’ Starting Friday

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American Psychiatric Association (APA) announced that, starting Friday, the mental disorder now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder will be changed...

Muslim Racing Team Delays Race At Bristol

Bristol, TN - The IRWIN Tools Night Race at Bristol Motor Speedway was held up Saturday evening when a racing team comprised entirely of...

Maya Rudolph To Give Birth After Six-Year Pregnancy

LOS ANGELES - Lady actress and coshedienne Maya Rudolph has announced that, after 24 trimesters, she will finally give birth after seven more trimesters....

House Approves Bill To Turn Basement Into Rec Room

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — The Landry family has been pushing for a finished basement for seven years. They say putting drywall and insulation down there...
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