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Pothead More Annoying Than Usual Today

BELLEVUE, Wash. -- Local pothead and 27-year-old Seattle native Dennis Stevens has been more annoying than usual today, April 20th, an informal day of international marijuana appreciation. "He...

Marijuana Tests Positive For NBA

NEW YORK -- Marijuana will be suspended today after testing positive yet again for The National Basketball Association, sources confirmed on Monday. "We knew this...

Avid Gamer Never Actually Changes Difficulty Settings, Just Smokes More Pot

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Avid gamer Brock Collins admitted Tuesday that he has never actually changed the difficulty settings on any of his video...

Nation’s Binge Drinkers Ponder Next Excuse

AMERICA – In the wake of the culturally-sanctioned, probably racist, annual self-poisoning ritual that is the St. Patrick’s Day bacchanal, alcoholics, partiers, and problem...

Teen Has Feelings Of Self-Worth And Happiness After First Drug Experience

OMAHA, Neb. -- After experimenting with drugs for the first time, area teen Grant Webb claimed to have had feelings of both self-worth and happiness,...
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