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4-Year-Old Planning To Spend Weekend Binge-Watching Same 15-Minute Cartoon

SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Citing numerous factors such as an unusually tiring week, local 4-year-old Grayson Carlisle announced today his plans to spend the entire...

Blockbuster Gold Membership Card Used As Backup Toothpick

IOWA CITY, Iowa -- Following the announcement earlier this week that former DVD and game rental giant Blockbuster would be closing all of its...

Linda Lovelace’s Ghost Regrets Starring In Paranographic Films

COCONUT GROVE, Fla. – The ghost of former adult film star Linda Lovelace says that she regrets starring in paranographic films and has taken...

Rookie Long-Haul Trucker Always Knew His Sittin’ Skills Would Pay Off

AMERICA — Jimm Baskett has known since he was a child that he was better than average at sittin’ down, but it wasn’t until...

Nation Displeased About Returning To Work After Spending Entire Weekend Watching...

PITTSBURGH — After a seven-year hiatus, Arrested Development made a splashy return on Sunday, causing most of the nation to spend Memorial Day weekend...

New Study Finds Winter Weather To Be Less Enjoyable Than Sunshine

EVERYWHERE, The World - Following a snowstorm on the first day of Spring, which was preceded by a gray-ass February, which itself came after...

Area Loafer Ponders Why Karma Has Rewarded Him With Addition Of...

Long Beach, CA - Brandon Tippes (31) grinned in the shower for nearly an hour early yesterday afternoon, wondering what he had done to...

Opinion: Things Aren’t Really Going That Great, But It’s Whatever

Editor’s note: Kyle Scanlan, a The Whiskey Journal contributor, is a 26 year old man-child that shares a one bedroom apartment in Chicago, Illinois.  He...

70 Percent of Recent College Graduates Spent Labor Day At Their...

WASHINGTON - For most, Labor Day is a paid holiday off of work, that celebrates the economic and social contribution of workers; but for...

President Takes a “Me” Day

WASHINGTON, DC -- Citing a slight hangover and general case of the blahs, President Barack Obama declared that today he would be cancelling his...
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