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iPhone Camera Update Asks Users If They Really Want To Record...

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Announcing the new feature in a press conference today, Apple unveiled an update to its upcoming iPhone’s camera that asks users if...

Sick of Your Kids? There’s an App for That: iParent

  iParent is the world's first fully automated parenting app. When you're done playing Mommy, turn on iParent and kick your feet up.

Apple Unveils New Cage-Free iPhone Factory

SHANGHAI, China - Apple revealed that its new iPhone 6 devices are being manufactured in a facility that features cage-free work stations for its...

Teen Volunteer Collapses, Dies At Nursing Home When No One Can...

Salisbury, MD - 18-year-old Natalie Rogers Passed away Tuesday at the Shady Grove Retirement Facility, where she was nearing the end of her senior...

Apple To Release ‘Cheaper iPhone’ Made By Smaller, Poorer Children

CUPERTINO, Calif. - After six years of selling only one line of iPhone, Apple announced their plans to release a cheaper iPhone made by...

Shitty Kid Still Bitching About Getting “the Wrong” Present

CLAYTON, MO—Two weeks ago, Callum and Ariel Campbell-Kenney gave their son, Tyler, age 8, the perfect gift, or so they thought. On Christmas Day,...

Apple Fans Slaughter Lambs In Praise of New iPhone Google Maps

CUPERTINO, CALIF. — After months of religious uncertainty, the followers of Apple joyfully sacrificed lambs Wednesday, giving alms to their Almighty for allowing them...

Siri not Available on All Payphones, Homeless Man Pees

Denver, CO — A homeless man could be observed screaming various commands into a payphone yesterday. The commands were all aimed at Siri, the...

Local Asshole Is Already Complaining About His iPhone 5

CHICAGO, IL- Local asshole Jon Matthews is already complaining about his iPhone 5 less than one day after purchasing the item. "It’s basically the same...

New App Allows Users To Text Themselves During Parties

Written by Kyle Scanlan HOUSTON - Apple today unveiled a new app that allows users to text themselves during parties and other events, which they...
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