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Hottest Murderers Under 30

Everybody loves a bad boy, and what kind of boy is the baddest? A murderer. By the transitive rules of attraction, nothing is hotter than...

Woman Takes Two Minute Sip Of Water To Avoid Kissing ‘Friend’...

FULLERTON, Calif. – Local resident Kaylee Tanner, 26, drank from a bottle of water from 11:59 p.m. on December 31st until 12:01 a.m. on...

Kobe Bryant Returns, Vows To Lead Lakers To Another First Round...

LOS ANGELES -- Following his 8-month absence recovering from a ruptured Achilles, Kobe Bryant returned to the basketball court Sunday night and promised to...

Grammy Announces Nominees For New ‘Best Performance Of Black Music By...

LOS ANGELES -- The Grammys have released their 2014 nominees, including all of the candidates for the inaugural “Best Performance of Black Music by...

Last Desperate Gesture Actually Wins Her Back

VISALIA, Calif. — Tyler McAndrews, 19, of Coalinga, California was able to capture the attention of his estranged girlfriend, Karleen Cassiday, 26, of Visalia,...

Justin Bieber Obliterated In First UFC Fight

LAS VEGAS — Teen pop sensation Justin Bieber was an unmitigated failure in his first foray into mixed martial arts last night, losing his...

“How Do I Know He Loves Me If I’m Not Pregnant?”...

It’s your time of the month! Shirley’s Temple has spent hours researching your most pressing questions and after finally getting blocked from our ex-boyfriend’s...

Teen Has Feelings Of Self-Worth And Happiness After First Drug Experience

OMAHA, Neb. -- After experimenting with drugs for the first time, area teen Grant Webb claimed to have had feelings of both self-worth and happiness,...

Area Man Considered Least Likely To Survive Zombie Apocalypse

CINCINNATI, OH – Local systems administrator Ben McNairy has a statistically nil chance of surviving the coming undead apocalypse despite his elaborate plans, sources...

Nation’s Give-A-Shit Resources Devastated by Superstorm of Shit to Give a...

WASHINGTON DC - According to recent figures, the national surplus of caring about shit has been severely depleted after the recent convergence of a...
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