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Jay Cutler Finally Completes Court-Appointed Stint As Pro Football Player

CHICAGO -- An overjoyed Jay Cutler was released from the Chicago Bears this week, having finally completed his court-appointed 11-year sentence of playing football...

Pride Parade Now Full Of Boring Married People

CHICAGO -- Following the Supreme Court’s ruling in favor of same-sex marriage, sources confirmed that the Chicago Gay Pride Parade this year was full of boring...

Rahm Emanuel Promises Cubs Championship If Re-Elected

CHICAGO -- Chicago mayor and preternatural fundraiser Rahm Emanuel has made his most incredible commitment to voters yet heading toward the April 7th runoff...

Local Dad Knows Exactly How To Coach Bears

SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — A local father is fully convinced that his favorite professional sports team the Chicago Bears would be successful if the multi-million...

Derrick Rose Leaves Game Early For Meeting In The Future

TORONTO -- Chicago Bulls' star Derrick Rose left Thursday night's game against the Toronto Raptors early for a meeting in the future, according to...

Improv Student Quits After Learning Don Pardo Will Never Say His...

CHICAGO -- Sources confirmed on Tuesday that area improv student Andrew Mason, 29, has reportedly quit comedy after learning of the legendary voice of...

Man Remembers He Bought Ticket For Lollapalooza

CHICAGO -- According to sources in the live entertainment industry, local 25-year-old Andrew Murphy suddenly remembered on Friday morning that he had purchased a...

Podcast: ‘It’s All True!’ Episode 17, with Comedian Eddie Izzard

Comedian Eddie Izzard joins host Tim Barnes in a conversation about comedy, performing his act in multiple languages (including French, German, Russian and Spanish),...

The Whiskey Journal Presents: Rejected Superheroes

The fourth annual C2E2 Comic and Entertainment Expo will be held in Chicago this weekend, giving industry giants DC and Marvel the opportunity to...

Chicago To Not Participate In February This Year

CHICAGO -- Mayor Rahm Emanuel announced Thursday that the city of Chicago would skip February 2014 due to the general unpleasantness of the month. “We...
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