Struggling Startup Forced To Lay Off Entire Pinball Machine


SEATTLE, Wash. – Citing a yearlong drop in sales for both their online and retail stores, it was announced this week that to help offset expenses Seattle-based company Flux, will be cutting their entire pinball machine.

“It wasn’t an easy decision to make and it’s not one I take lightly,” reported Flux CEO Ty Davis, whose salary last year exceeded seven figures. Before stepping into his 2017 Tesla Model-S, Davis continued, “Of course I wish it didn’t have to come down to this but after evaluating each department and crunching the numbers we really had no other choice but to let it go.”

The pinball machine, which was purchased to celebrate the company’s one-thousandth sale, is currently located in the employee break room along with three isolation tanks, a full-service juice bar, and a Netflix-equipped 4K flat screen.

“It’s no secret that our revenue has been down the last few months but I had no idea it had gotten this bad,” stated programmer Mitch Roberts during his paid hour and half long lunch break. “I just hope we can turn things around. Sure, today it’s the pinball machine but tomorrow it could be our levitating desks.”

Flux is not the only company currently struggling financially and being forced to make tough calls in the ever-turbulent tech market. Last month San Francisco software company Woke had to cut both their ping-pong and foosball tables in order save them from going belly-up.

At press time, employees were seen getting their last games in before getting back to work being paid three times the minimum wage.

Josh Ballew should have learned how to code.

Image by wikimedia

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Joshua Ballew is a writer, producer, and comedian based in Milwaukee Wisconsin. In addition to contributing to The Whiskey Journal he also is the author of the soon to be published book, Things That Should Exist But Do Not and co-creator of the web series Having A Few.