Showdown Rages On Between Corn And Man’s Fixed Retainer


NAPERVILLE, Ill. — In a deadlock with no foreseeable end, 27-year-old Greg Adamov’s fixed retainer remains firmly clamped down on a corn kernel he bit into at a barbeque today.

“I remember sinking my teeth into the cob and immediately knowing I had sparked a rivalry that could last until sundown,” said the charcoal enthusiast. “Every time I brush it with my tongue, I’m reminded of the war happening right behind my bottom teeth.”

Nearly three hours into the grilling session, the stubborn vegetable survived Adamov’s numerous attempts to rinse out the narrow crevice between his gum and wire. No number of tongue sweeps, lip purses, or sharp inhales seemed to have an effect on the starchy globule. Defying all odds in its heat with the cemented metal band, Adamov’s friends began wagering money on when the charred, buttery morsel will finally break away.

“Call me a dreamer, but I think that sucker will still be planted in him at noon tomorrow,” said friend Kimberly Forrester.

Adamov eventually reached for floss and began slowly chipping away at the summertime staple. However, friends later admitted that he also had a scrap of arugula stuck between his two leftmost incisors.

Patrick Reilly is very well read on the charcoal-gas grill debate because of this article.

Image from jughead_jones