PEORIA, Ill. — Following his most recent breakup, Peoria native Brad Williams changed his profile picture on Facebook to a shirtless picture of himself to let the world know that he is once again ready to fuck.
“I figure why not show off the goods?” Brad said, weirdly putting his thumbs in the waistband of his jeans. “I’m just trying to get some strange.”
Three hours after posting the new shirtless profile picture, Brad’s photo had 13 comments, 11 were male friends calling him “gay” and the two remaining comments were from females that Brad immediately responded to with “thanks babe.”
Those close to Brad say this isn’t the first time he’s posted a shirtless picture in an attempt to lure potential mates.
“At some point in his life, this has had to have worked,” said Henry Morgan, Brad’s Facebook friend of nine years. “There is literally no other reason for a 33-year-old man to post a shirtless picture of himself online.”
At press time, Brad was seen doing donuts in the local Pizza Hut parking lot.
Kyle Scanlan swims with a t-shirt on.