Choice is both a blessing and a curse: Though it’s great to have the freedom to decide exactly what’s right for you, it can be so overwhelming to consider all the options – and really, what modern woman has that kind of time in the first place? We’re going to solve one dilemma for you right now by giving you all the information you need to choose between shaving, waxing, and sacrificing men to everyone’s favorite Neopagan Witch Goddess, Hecate. Read on to solve this predicament once and for all!
Shaving: At about $30 or $40 year, shaving is definitely the most economical option out there. While name-brand razor cartridges can cost up to $3 or $4 apiece, internet-based startups are now offering a whole bunch of affordable options for the tech-savvy budget babe!
Waxing: While you can get away with waxing less frequently than shaving, a full salon leg wax is likely to set you back $100 to $200 each time – add in your bikini line, and you may be looking at as much as $250! Home waxing offers a cheaper alternative, with kits costing anywhere from $20 to $50.
Sacrificing Men to Hecate, the Mother Witch: while certain herbs and symbolic talismans are required for invocating Hecate, the Queen of Ghosts, there are several low-cost options out there. For example, if you don’t have the space or money to build an altar in your home, any isolated crossroads in the light of the waning moon would be an appropriate and affordable place to complete a sacrifice! And if you’re worried about furnishing a suitable Deipnon feast prior to the sacrifice, a fun and budget-friendly option is to have a potluck with all your wrongfully harmed and unavenged girlfriends who long for retribution. Afterwards, you can all use the same incense to completely the purification ritual. Cheap is chic, baby!
Shaving: You can’t beat shaving for convenience! Although you have to do it more often than waxing or committing expiation sacrifices to Hecate, the Liminal Witch of the Three Paths, it also takes less time and can be completed at home.
Waxing: A full leg wax takes about an hour, and most people wax every six to eight weeks. However, some salon professionals recommend coming in every four weeks. Ultimately, how often you’ll need to wax just depends on how quickly your hair grows!
Sacrificing Men to Hecate, the Mother Witch: You can make sacrifices to Hecate, the Dark Moon Daughter of Asteria, as often as you need to ask for her protection or visit her rage upon those who have wronged you; however, most women find that once a month is enough. If you need a little additional protection between sacrifices, you can simply walk down a desolate road or through a cemetery during the dark phase of the moon for a boost. Easy!
Shaving: The main benefit of shaving is that it doesn’t require you to invest in pricey equipment or make an appointment to get it done: You can simply shave in the shower, with no planning ahead required!
Waxing: The best part of waxing is that it will keep your legs sexy and stubble-free for a LONG time!
Sacrificing Men to Hecate, the Mother Witch: The primary benefit of sacrificing men to Hecate, the Solitary Witch Who Hath Deferred to No Man, is that it really doesn’t matter if your legs are smooth or not. Plus, her preternatural powers to provide protection, avenge wrongdoing, kindle prosperity, bend the earth unto her will, summon ghosts, and master the dead, have a variety of useful applications for your everyday life!
Shaving: Many people experience razor burn–an itchy, bumpy red rash–when they use a dull razor or insufficient shaving cream.
Waxing: Waxing doesn’t always work very well for people with fine hair, and you need to let your leg hairs reach at least a quarter of an inch in length between appointments.
Sacrificing Men to Hecate, the Mother Witch: There is no downside to winning the luminous favor of Hecate, the Goddess of the Crossroads and Most Exalted Unfruitful Witch, and walking in the sanctuary of the divine light of her fearful twin torches.
Although we haven’t covered other options, such as laser hair removal, electrolysis, and sacrificing men to the bog in honor of the Horned God Cernunnos, we’re confident that the choices presented here are the easiest options for an on-the-go woman who needs either smooth legs or the incandescent beneficence of Hecate, the Fortuitous Goddess of Witchcraft and Necromancy. You go, girl!
For what it’s worth, Gwen Lawson hasn’t shaved or waxed in months.