Science & Tech News | The Whiskey Journal

Science & Tech News

Science & Tech News

June 15, 2017

Returning Astronaut Can’t Believe No One Fucked His Wife

MADISON, Wis. — “I’m just happy to be home and I’m looking forward to spending lots of quality time with my beautiful wife, Marcy, and our […]
June 1, 2017

Ophthalmologists Recommend Rubbing Eye Until Thing In There Just Sort Of Goes Away

SAN FRANCISCO — The American Academy of Ophthalmology released a public-health statement today advising anyone with something in their eye to just rub it until whatever’s […]
May 30, 2017

Climate March Canceled Due To Inclement Weather

PORTLAND, Ore. — Thousands of protesters had their plans disrupted this weekend as unseasonably strong winds and heavy thunderstorms swept in, forcing organizers to cancel demonstrations for […]
May 24, 2017

Report: 83% Of Americans Would Be Willing To Upload Brains Into Big Computer Or Whatever

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Continuing their research into the next evolution of computer technology and the possibility of what some call the singularity, leading artificial intelligence experts […]
May 18, 2017

Roger Ailes’ Body Donated To Stifling Science

PALM BEACH, Fla. — Following reports of his death Thursday morning, the family of former Fox News president Roger Ailes has confirmed his body will be […]
May 17, 2017

Terrifying Development: Shooting Molten Lava At The Invading Volcano Monsters Seems To Only Make Them Stronger

Well this doesn’t look good. When legions of horrifying volcano monsters suddenly emerged from the center of the earth and began terrorizing cities around the globe, […]
April 21, 2017

Do These Pictures of Worms Turn You On Or Am I Seriously The Only One?

Every time I bring up how hot worms are everyone looks at me like I’m a freak. Okay, wow. Really? Me, a freak? I beg to […]
March 23, 2017

Archaeologists Uncover 10,000-Year-Old Creationism Pamphlet

SEVILLE, SPAIN — Archaeologists working in southern Spain are celebrating the discovery of what appears to be the oldest artifact ever found to show man’s denial of […]