Roger Ailes’ Body Donated To Stifling Science


PALM BEACH, Fla. — Following reports of his death Thursday morning, the family of former Fox News president Roger Ailes has confirmed his body will be donated to continue his dream of impeding scientific progress.

“It’s what he would have wanted,” stated his estranged wife Elizabeth. “After a life spent trying to discredit climate change reports and experts from all corners of the scientific community, we can find comfort in the fact that his work will continue even after he has passed on.”

Ailes, the former Nixon advisor and man who once referred to climate change as “a worldwide conspiracy spun by foreign nations to gain control of America’s resources,” died Thursday morning after taking a fall in his Palm Beach home last week. This news shocked those close to Ailes as he had reassured them gravity is a liberal myth created by Isaac Newton to discredit the Church.

At press time, it was announced the unusable parts of Ailes’ body will be cremated and spread into the drinking water in his hometown of Warren, Ohio.

Alec Stein is the world’s foremost expert on fancy science shit.

Image by Wesley Mann/FOX News.