WASHINGTON — Nervous suburbanites rejoiced yesterday as NASA announced its plans for a “white flight” space program. The Republican-funded initiative will send Americans who feel the nation is getting a little too “urban” jetting to the outer reaches of space, to boldly go where no black people are.
Tony Heron, a renowned African-American conspiracy theorist from Detroit, was shocked by the audacity of the program but also thrilled that something he screams to people near bus stops has finally turned out to be true.
NASA, not to be confused with the NAACP, was initially reluctant to spearhead the endeavor but soon recognized the proposed program as just an extension of America’s long history of white migration.
“It’s simply the patriotic thing to do,” said NASA administrator Charles Bolden. “Also, this is a way to get Republicans to fund actual space programs so it’s a win-win.”
Sources expect Jupiter’s public school system to soon be the envy of the Milky Way.
Tim Barnes can’t wait to move into an abandoned McMansion in Rolling Oak Grove Forest Hills.
Image by wikimedia commons.