Protester Hoping This Doesn’t Last More Than An Hour


NEW YORK CITY — Local activist Sam Pennington, 28, was excited to meet with other protesters in Union Square to fight against racism, but he expressed his desire for this to be a short night, sources confirmed.

Pennington patted himself on the back for at least taking the time to ride the subway from Bushwick in order to march on the streets of Manhattan. However, he does openly hope the march is kept short.

“This feels like a good thing for me to do with my white privilege,” Pennington told the press as he glanced at the time on his phone. “But a band I really like is playing in Williamsburg, so I want to go to that after this. Plus this girl I like is having a birthday thing, so I should stop by that or she’ll be mad.”

Pennington, who is holding a homemade sign that calls for an end to police violence against the underprivileged, doesn’t want to march too far away from the subway because then it would take him much longer to get out of there when this is all over.

“I’ll probably be hungry too,” he added. “It’s not like they feed you at these things. If they did, I wouldn’t mind it going a little later.”

He also expressed a desire to not be arrested as that would just be a “huge hassle.”

Stephanie Weber would love to protest but has all this YouTube to catch up on.

Image by shankbone.