The Whiskey Journal

HARLEM, NY - On Thursday, residents of Harlem reclaimed the ‘Harlem Shake’, leaving thousands dead. In the last week, there have been 50,000 uploads of the Harlem Shake viral-video dance meme resulting in over 200 million views before the ‘Harlem Slaughter’ on Thursday. 

“Nobody in Harlem would dance like that. Nobody,” said Harlem resident K-Dub AKA Krazy Karl. “That’s not the ‘Harlem Shake’. I feel like they are trying to make us look bad. So, we took care of it. Nobody disrespects the Harlem swag.” 

The ‘Harlem Shake’ is a dance that was originated in Harlem, NY in the 1980s. Since its origin, the dance has spread to other urban areas and became popular in music videos. It wasn’t until the last week, that the dance had been known globally.

On Thursday, many of the 50,000 uploaders of the viral-videos decided to go to Harlem to make the worlds largest ‘Harlem Shake’ video.  Moments into shooting the video, the ‘Harlem Slaughter’ broke out, taking the lives of boring, internet-addicted white people

“They don’t live in Harlem. They’re not from Harlem. You don’t come down here and dance like that, if you’re not from here. That’s how you get hurt,” said an unidentified Harlem resident as he wiped his gun clean and threw it in a nearby trash can. 

Following the ‘Harlem Slaughter’, white people everywhere are encouraged to go back to just doing the ‘Gangnam Style’ dance. 

Written by a man who has never been to Harlem, Kyle Scanlan 

Follow Kyle on Twitter: @kylescanlan