Local Asshole Is Already Complaining About His iPhone 5
CHICAGO, IL- Local asshole Jon Matthews is already complaining about his iPhone 5 less than one day after purchasing the item.
“It’s basically the same thing as the iPhone 4S. The Apple Maps app is horrible. I mean, I don’t regret waiting in line for 7 hours today for it, I want the new iPhone. I just wish it was completely different,” said Matthews.
Matthews, who has purchased every new model of the iPhone on the day of its release, then starred blankly at his iPhone 5 screen for the next few minutes. Minutes later he pretended to take a call as a homeless man approached him asking for money.
“This isn’t even any faster! There is no HD screen? How am I suppose to stream NFL games while I’m at dinner with my wife?” said a frustrated Matthews as he texted a friend who had also bought the new iPhone 5.
“I suppose it does have a bigger screen,” he continued. ”My neighbor has a Samsung Galaxy S III. He loves it.”
Matthews sitting in line yesterday waiting for the iPhone5
Written by Kyle Scanlan
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