Porn Actors Receive Standing Desks For Office Scenes

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SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, Calif. — Actors working for the adult entertainment company Nubile Films received new standing desk converters this week for an upcoming office scene, sources have confirmed.

“These desks will be much healthier for our talent when they’re randomly clicking around Excel for five minutes,” said set manager Nick Block. “This is biggest step in ensuring the well-being of our actors since we started using exclusively organic vegetables in our films.”

The chronic health issues linked to a sedentary lifestyle concerned several of the actors whose roles require them to sit down for almost eight minutes at a time. Actor Mallery Redd also expressed excitement about creating scenes that reflect today’s startup culture.

“The old furniture was getting stale,” Redd said. “Fantasies of the cubicle and the water cooler are over. When people think about today’s work fantasies, they want their nuts drained next to a Chemex, they want to get fingerblasted on top of a shuffleboard table. This is an important step in building that dream.”

Some prevailing tropes within office porn are being complicated by the new set design. Crawling across the desk is not as easy as it once was. Actors and producers are working together to figure how to move the 40 pound adjustable convertors off the desk “in a hot way.”

Next month will see the introduction of new costumes for the office scenes, which are substituting suit jackets and pantsuits with hemp thermals and assless corduroy skinny jeans.

The re-imagination of the office set is not without its difficulties. Actors are already leaving snacks all over the beanbags, and production company officials wonder if a Mac is too expensive for actors to cum on.

“Maintenance is difficult,” said Block. “If you spray it with Dust-Off, it just gets crustier.”

Patrick Reilly wishes that he had a standing desk and got paid to come.

Image by mastermaq.