HOUSTON, Texas — Following the first overtime game in NFL Super Bowl history, players from the New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons met in the Red Lot behind NRG Stadium to flip a coin and determine who would have to go to the White House to visit with President Trump, sources have reported.
“I don’t think it was an accident that this was our first overtime game in Super Bowl history,” said FOX color analyst Troy Aikman. “These guys really didn’t want to go to the White House.”
Traditionally, the winning team in every major sport goes to the White House to celebrate their win.
“When the Patriots started making a comeback, I got worried,” said NFL MVP and Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan. “I started to think about how I was blowing an opportunity that I had waited for my whole life and might not ever get again, and then I remembered if we won, we would have to go see the President.”
Ryan continued: “Fuck that.”
After the exciting come-from-behind victory, multiple unnamed players in the Patriots locker room were overheard explaining “We won so we shouldn’t have to go.”
Although several members of the Patriots, including Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady, coach Bill Belichick and owner Robert Kraft, are outspoken Trump supporters, it is believed that they are actually political leftists and their support for Trump was a rumor started by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.
As fate would have it, NFL officials confirmed that the Falcons lost the coin flip and will be forced to go to the White House.
Kyle Scanlan thinks a lot of people give the Patriots shit, and that’s fair.