Pan Left In Sink To Soak Over Length Of Lease


CHICAGO — Staring at the cooking residue clinging to his recently used pan, local man Derick Schlinger reportedly decided the best way to loosen up the burnt food would be to let the pan soak in his sink until he moved out of his apartment.

“No point in putting all that elbow grease in when I could just fill the pan with soap and hot water, set it in my sink, and then move it around every time I need to use the sink over the next 10 months,” said Schlinger. “‘Work smart, not hard’ is what I always say.”

“Hell, I might even be able to soak another dish inside this one!” he continued, before kicking a fallen piece of broccoli under his stove.

Derick’s roommates do not seem to be as keen on his self-proclaimed “life-hack,” according to sources close to the matter. “This is just his ‘turning underwear inside out to wear twice’ phase all over again,” said one roommate, who asked to remain anonymous. “If I see him use one more goddamn beer can as a measuring cup, or pick his teeth with a fingernail he just bit off, I’m moving the hell out.”

Schlinger was unavailable for follow-up comments but was last seen trying to fit his Brita water filter under the faucet without dipping the bottom into his water-filled pan.

Alec Stein doesn’t think there is a point in cleaning a pan if it is just going to get hot and kill the germs anyway.

Image by Good Free Photos