Other Things Mike Pence Isn't Allowed To Do Without His Wife Present | The Whiskey Journal

Other Things Mike Pence Isn’t Allowed To Do Without His Wife Present

Other Things Mike Pence Isn’t Allowed To Do Without His Wife Present

In a Washington Post story earlier this week it was revealed that Vice President Mike Pence and his wife Karen have some strict rules in their marriage, relative to most other godless D.C. couples. The Vice President never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and he also will not attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side. Outside of the Beltway these are normal things that a husband and wife commonly agree to, yet are being blown way out of proportion by many coastal elites who are likely in failing marriages.

The Pences should be proud of their bond and should hold up their marriage as an example. Therefore, we are highlighting some of the other confirmed things the Vice President isn’t allowed to do without his wife in the room as a means of avoiding impropriety or temptation:

• Listen to jazz

• Perform CPR

• Read that one Hardy Boys book about the spooky closet

• Watch men eat pizza

• Go on the internet

• Speak with Donald Trump

• Look at the muscle person picture at the doctor’s office

• Use the stove

• Read legislation

• Perform as his drag character Mikayla Pensacola

 

Our country would be a better place if more couples followed the Pences’ example.

The Whiskey Journal will let you go to dinner with whoever you want. 

Image by Gage Skidmore.

Kyle Scanlan
Kyle Scanlan grew up in rural southern Illinois and has the vocabulary to prove it. Now he lives in the big fancy city of Chicago, because he tells jokes there. When not telling jokes, he’s usually drunkenly yelling at his television during NBA games. He is a contributor, editor and creator of The Whiskey Journal. He’s not excited about the future.
Kyle Scanlan
Kyle Scanlan
Kyle Scanlan grew up in rural southern Illinois and has the vocabulary to prove it. Now he lives in the big fancy city of Chicago, because he tells jokes there. When not telling jokes, he’s usually drunkenly yelling at his television during NBA games. He is a contributor, editor and creator of The Whiskey Journal. He’s not excited about the future.