Despite several warnings not to look at the sun directly, or even look through binoculars or a telescope during the solar eclipse, you did just that. Now your eyes feel weird and everything looks blurry. Thankfully our team here at The Whiskey Journal has some helpful tips about what to do next with your eyes.
- Run around your apartment yelling and screaming that you can’t see anything. This will be good practice for when you lose your vision entirely.
- Wash your eyes out in the sink. This will not actually help your vision but for a few seconds before you open your eyes again, you’ll think you’re okay.
- Grab a spoon and forcefully remove your eyeballs from your head. Now that your eyes don’t work anymore, you might as well get rid of them. Keeping eyes that don’t work anymore is like keeping your Motorola Razr from 10 years ago. Throw them in the trash and move on with your dumb life.
- Get some cool sunglasses. Now that you’ve ruined your vision and removed your eyeballs, it’s time to invest in some cool sunglasses. Sunglasses can be expensive, so be prepared to ask your dad if you can borrow his Oakleys.
- Have whoever is reading you this article take $10 out of your wallet. Now that your completely blind, you’ll need help reading, unless you want to be one of those weirdos that listens to books on tape. Reward your friend for helping you by letting them grab $10 out of your wallet.
Kyle Scanlan has looked at the sun every day for 3 to 4 hours.
image by travelsalem.com