Non-Competitive YMCA Game Ends With Kevin Yelling Again


CHARLESTON, Ill. — In the closing minutes of a non-competitive basketball game at the local YMCA, the Purple Team captain Kevin MacDonald began yelling at a referee about a no-call for the third week in a row.

“That guy is a total dick,” said YMCA referee Jenny Rogers. “He’s screaming two inches from my face about how I’m blind and I suck. C’mon man, I make nine dollars an hour.”

“I do not care about the integrity of this game,” Rogers added. “I will make sure you foul out immediately.”

MacDonald, 31, was repeatedly asked to calm down by YMCA staff, before squealing the tires on his Subaru as he sped out of the parking lot.

“I like Kevin but this isn’t really fun anymore,” said MacDonald’s teammate and lifelong friend Bart Noel. “Last week he called another referee a “chickenfucker.”

Noel added: “I saw him eat a chicken burrito 15 minutes before the game started. He has no business yelling at anyone.”

At press time, Macdonald was spotted cooling off in a nearby Wendy’s drive-thru.

Kyle Scanlan got his first technical foul in 5th grade for “taunting.”

Image by hectoralejandro.

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Kyle Scanlan grew up in rural southern Illinois and has the vocabulary to prove it. Now he lives in the big fancy city of Chicago, because he tells jokes there. When not telling jokes, he’s usually drunkenly yelling at his television during NBA games. He is a contributor, editor and creator of The Whiskey Journal. He’s not excited about the future.