Newly Broken Up Couple Begins Passive Aggressive Whose-Life-Is-More-Fun Instagram Battle


BOULDER, Colo. — Though former couple Jon Russell and Ellen Terrace initially seemed to have ended their relationship amicably, the two have started a shameless and transparent social media competition, each trying to prove they are having a more fun, fulfilling life without the other.

Sources confirmed that while Russell, 27, almost never uses the social media photo app Instagram, he’s been very active lately, presumably because he knows his ex follows his account.

“He’s been getting his picture taken with all these women at parties,” said Russell’s roommate Glen Cheng, “and then he just uploads the photos to Instagram. He doesn’t even know the women. Or talk to them or anything.”

Meanwhile, Terrace, 26, has mostly been posting photos of brunches she’s had. “Artsy-looking food is huge,” confirmed Post-Breakup Revenge Specialist Dr. Marybeth Whicker. “If you’re going to make your ex feel at a loss without you, it’s important to make every detail of your whole life look impossibly fun, right down to the food you’re about to eat.”

“Selfies of new haircuts are also a big one,” said Dr. Whicker. Terrace had posted selfies of her post-breakup haircut, but later removed them.

Terrace said in a statement: “I’ll admit, bangs were not the best idea.”

Terrace also took some semi-exotic vacations, blowing up Instagram with beautifully filtered photos in the process. Russell took note and has been posting photos of him and his bros camping for weeks on end. “It’s like he hasn’t not been camping since we broke up,” said Terrace. “Not that I’ve been paying attention.”

Sources confirm that both Russell and Terrace have been exercising more and have been posting sweaty photos of themselves after every single workout. “They’re real proud of those jogs,” said Cheng. “I’ve never seen either of them in better shape. I’m starting to think that if they put that kind of energy and focus into their relationship they never would have broken up.”

Tyler Snodgrass has an Instagram but mostly takes photos of himself pooping.

Image by banfyphotography/stylishcommuter.