Nationwide Goes With Dead Kid Idea

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COLUMBUS, Ohio — After weighing several options for its high profile Super Bowl ad, Nationwide Insurance ultimately decided to go with the dead kid idea.

“We had a lot of great ideas during the brainstorming session, including uplifting stories about how Nationwide helps families every day across the country or how we have been a trusted insurance provider for almost 90 years, but we eventually landed on a child talking about all the things he can’t do because he’s dead now,” said Steve Rasmussen, CEO of Nationwide.

Sources confirmed that Nationwide marketers wanted to separate itself from the crop of other Super Bowl commercials that use humorous or inspirational messages to connect with the audience of 110 million people by demonstrating how kids can drown in a tub, ingest poison from under the sink, or be crushed to death by a big screen TV.

“When one of our marketing analysts thought of depressing a third of the country within a 45-second spot, we jumped all over it,” added Mr. Rasmussen.

According to inside sources, Mr. Rasmussen was most excited when someone thought of starting the commercial lightheartedly by depicting the boy riding a bike, getting kissed by a girl, and flying in a hang glider in order to heighten viewers’ shock and devastation upon learning that the boy was tragically and most likely gruesomely killed.

Reportedly, Nationwide researchers discovered that depicting a dead kid would connect with the tens of millions of parents who would be horrified if they lost a child and the other millions of parents who have actually lost a child due to terrible accidents—some even in the way the commercial showed on screen.

“Whether you’re a parent or not, everyone can connect with a dead child,” explained Mr. Rasmussen to reporters.

In related news, sources discovered that PetSmart is filming a commercial to be aired during the Oscars that shows people burying their pets.

Tommy Molzahn is very thankful for the Budweiser puppy commercials.

Image by Nationwide.