More Consideration Put Into Couple’s Halloween Costume Than Relationship


ROLLING MEADOWS, Ill. — With the end of October approaching many are putting the finishing touches on their Halloween plans including Rich and Jess Perkins, who have spent more time and energy on their couples costume than on their three-year marriage.

Both Rich and Jess were hesitant to reveal too many details about the costume however the strain on the relationship was apparent.

“We don’t want to ruin the surprise but let’s just say the Parkers don’t stand a chance at the work party this year,” Rich said as he began to spray paint the first of hundreds of intricately cut cardboard pieces, clearly ignoring his wife’s repeated instruction to do that in the garage. “She’s always telling me what to do, sometimes I wonder if she even cares about the costume at all.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to always tell you what to do if you’d just listen to me in the first place,” Jess responded sharply. “I bet you forgot about the glitter packs, again, didn’t you?”

Those close to the couple confirm having seen the two intensely plan the costume for months including going to multiple professional fittings while simultaneously neglecting each other’s needs resulting in a growing concern for their longevity.

“I don’t even see them talk unless it is about the costume,” said Tim Meyers who has lived next door to the couple for two years. “It’s obvious how important this is to them but at what cost?”

The couple was last seen heading back to Michaels for the third time this week, driving separate cars.

Joshua Ballew once dressed up as a recycling bag for Halloween so your costume idea is probably pretty solid. 

Image Flickr

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Joshua Ballew is a writer, producer, and comedian based in Milwaukee Wisconsin. In addition to contributing to The Whiskey Journal he also is the author of the soon to be published book, Things That Should Exist But Do Not and co-creator of the web series Having A Few.