Mark Zuckerberg Pays $10 To Boost His Chair To A Wider Audience


WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources confirmed that prior to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s testimony in front of Congress on Tuesday, he was able to boost his chair to a wider audience for just ten dollars.

For Zuckerberg, 33, whose net worth is in the billions, the investment makes sense when taking into account the thousands if not millions of people that his chair will reach.

“Following the Cambridge Analytica debacle Zuckerberg is going to have to answer a lot of tough questions,” said Washington Post reporter Brian Hayes. “When you look at the track record of Facebook’s influence, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I was sitting where he is.”

By utilizing Facebook’s innovative promotional tools Zuckerberg was able to select both the age range and location of his targeted audience as well as select the height, foam density and duration of the boost, presumably lasting through the end of his testimony.

The impact of this decision will become clearer in the coming days thanks to an itemized summary of the boost breaking down how many people were reached as well as the option to renew the initial promotion.

Josh Ballew couldn’t afford to boost this post so please be sure to share it.

Image by New York Post.

Previous articleFamily Powerless To Stop Aunt From Learning About Cards Against Humanity
Joshua Ballew is a writer, producer, and comedian based in Milwaukee Wisconsin. In addition to contributing to The Whiskey Journal he also is the author of the soon to be published book, Things That Should Exist But Do Not and co-creator of the web series Having A Few.