Man’s Workout Playlist Just Voicemails From Father


CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — Local man Todd Delisle provoked great amounts of concern this week after uploading a workout playlist to Spotify that included only voicemails from his irate father.

“I made sure to start it off with a real barn burner,” said the 26-year-old. “On this one, he’s basically rapping his complaints about me. It’s pretty sick.”

The 13-track playlist titled “Deep Cuts,” runs just short of 40 minutes and was selected from 35 messages saved on Delisle’s phone over the past five years. He dismissed suggestions from friends that the continuous criticism from his father has devastated his psyche.

“Everyone is acting like it’s bad to have a large supply of pump-up jams,” said Delisle, misty-eyed. “Plus the staccato barking on track three provides a great rhythm to row to.”

The playlist’s tracks have been ordered to match the activities in Delisle’s regimen, although he occasionally puts it on shuffle.

“When I’m lifting I tend to rock the heavy stuff where he’s hoarsely condemning my career choice,” he told reporters. “Then on the last few tracks, he’s waging an all-out attack on my personality and it’s scary as hell. Great for cardio. Sometimes though, I’m more motivated if I’m not sure which part of my life will be ripped apart next.”

Delisle even named the tracks according to subject matter, from the uptempo “You’ve Always Had A Shit Attitude” to the brooding “I’ve Worked Harder This Week Than You Will In Your Entire Life.”

Despite concern from Delisle’s friends that it suggests major unresolved emotional damage, the publicly accessible playlist has achieved moderate popularity on Spotify, especially the earliest recording, “Nice Jeans Today, Queer.”

Patrick Reilly’s party playlist is his mom talking about a new marinade she bought.

Image from thespeakernews.

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Patrick Reilly is The Whiskey Journal's Chief Millennial Correspondent. He quit Boy Scouts after one year to focus on writing.