CHICAGO — After years of building the reputation of ‘not having a lazy bone in his body’, local 33-year-old Ed Williamson told reporters this week that he was exhausted.
“Enough is enough,” Williamson said as he kicked his shoes off and sat down on a nearby couch. “I’m just going to lay here all day and watch the entire series of Orange is the New Black on Netflix like a normal person.”
Williamson continued: “Does anyone know where I can have a pair of sweatpants delivered to my door or even a GrubHub menu? I want this to be authentic.”
At press time, sources confirmed Williamson had fallen asleep about 15 minutes into the first episode of Orange is the New Black. Williamson’s loved ones have urged the public to not bother him during his much “deserved” time of rest.
Kyle Scanlan wrote this article in between naps.