Man Treats Himself To Handicapped Stall

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FORT WAYNE, Ind. — After a long, hard day’s work, local market analyst Tim Fitzgerald decided he had earned the right to relax in his office’s spacious handicapped stall Friday afternoon. Stating he meant no disrespect to any disabled co-workers in his workplace, Fitzgerald treated himself to a 35-minute break in the roomy 9′ x 12′ accommodations.

“I don’t know why everyone doesn’t use the handicapped stall–my leg would have fallen asleep long ago in the normal stall, but there’s way more room in here to spread out,” said Fitzgerald, adding that the handicap-accessible stall has a ledge at arm height where he places his cell phone while reading the news or catching up on Snapchat stories. “If I can get the big stall, I’ll spend more time than I usually would. It’s like my personal man cave.”

Witnesses reported seeing Fitzgerald wait for the handicap stall by pretending to use the urinal, wash his hands, and leave, only to return to the bathroom immediately after the stall is not in use.

“I’m willing to wait if the stall is occupied. It’s worth it to not be cramped in the smaller stall,” Fitzgerald told reporters while putting headphones on before entering the office’s lone ADA-compliant men’s stall. “I really feel at home in there with the magazine rack with Maxim and Sports Illustrated. It’s my fortress of solitude where I relax after a long day.”

At press time, Fitzgerald exited the stall and stepped around a co-worker who was waiting patiently in his wheelchair.

Kris Sundet wrote the entirety of this article with his laptop on his bare thighs while in his office’s handicap stall.

Image by Kris Sundet