Man Can’t Walk Alone At Night Without Worrying About Female Empowerment


NEW YORK—Saying it’s a shame that it happens in one of the most developed countries in the world, New York resident Todd Gleason told reporters that he can’t go out at night by himself without worrying about the empowerment of women.

“Every time I’m alone at night and pass a lady, I hope against hope that she doesn’t have a healthy self-image, a keen critical mind, or worse—a successful career,” he said.

Gleason, 34, is one of many men asserting that the social emancipation of women infringes on men’s basic privileges. Moreover, Gleason adds, it makes him feel less than spectacular while simply going about in public.

“The political cognizance and personal autonomy of women is an affront to my superiority,” explained Gleason. “All I want to do is walk home like the planetary overlord that I am without feeling threatened. It sucks that every time I walk home, I need to be accompanied by a guy to cheer me up in case I see a woman leading a fulfilling existence.”

The women’s rights issue made headlines after a hidden camera video shot by a man depicted many women openly expressing their freedom of thought and brandishing their financial independence. One particularly striking moment comes when a woman is shown not caring about men’s perception of her.

“Truly terrifying,” Gleason commented.

Gleason later berated a female reporter for using vocabulary he didn’t understand.

Patrick Reilly sometimes wants to cut his dick off.

Image from Vivnsect.