Late Night Facebook Message To Ex Rekindles Old Restraining Order


SALEM, Ore. — According to court documents filed today, a local man’s recent late night Facebook message succeeded in rekindling a dormant restraining order.

Lawyers for Eric Palmer and Marilyn Applebaum appeared in front of a county judge on Monday for the latest court order issued against Palmer, a known failure at relationships and at using the Internet.

Evidence shows that early in the morning of September 5th, Palmer clicked “send” on a Facebook message to Applebaum filled with sad, weird references to seeing her at a bar the night before talking to “total pussies,” who would “never go on a hunger strike for her” like Palmer allegedly would.

Donald Clark, Applebaum’s attorney, reiterated that his client does not feel safe when Palmer is near her, physically or digitally.

“We are requesting another court order today against Mr. Palmer, who apparently still can’t figure out how to avoid engaging in Ridiculum vexationes,” said Clark, “an unlawful act otherwise known as being a harassing weirdo.”

Court documents show that Applebaum filed a previous retraining order in 2013. At that time she told the court the two dated for six weeks, and then Palmer began wearing t-shirts designed with her picture on the front and coming to her office uninvited.

“It went from a casual and mildly interesting get-to-know-each-other sort of thing to him acting crazy and talking about a room at his grandma’s house we could move into,” Applebaum told the court. “When I said I didn’t want to see him again he got a job at the diner where I go every day for lunch, and would wear a goddamned shirt with my face on it.”

Applebaum said the harassment in 2013 also involved unwelcomed communication on social media, including peculiarly benign posts on her Facebook page, saying “hey” and “cool day huh?”–plus more direct and delusional statements like “grandma is painting the room for us!”

According to Clark, after Applebaum blocked him on all social media and filed the original court order, Palmer responded accordingly and ended all communication and interaction. Then earlier this month he sent a message at 2:30 a.m. from a new Facebook account saying he tried buying her drinks when he saw her at the bar, but just kept drinking them himself instead.

When asked about his thinking behind contacting Applebaum again, Palmer remained enthusiastic and confident. He also said the media attention from his case has made him exciting new connections.

“I’m just trying to show everyone that I’m a nice guy,” Palmer said. “My grandma has been really supportive through all of this, too. I’ve also met a lot of smart, interesting people who’ve reached out to me from the Men’s Rights Movement.”

“I have all kinds of opportunities ahead of me,” he added. “Cool stuff that I’m sure will impress Marilyn a whole bunch.”

Andrew Voris threw up in his mouth six times while reporting this story.

Image by skyfireXII.

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Andrew Voris is a writer and stand-up comic who cries at Loretta Lynn songs. His background includes interning for the Illuminati, fish hunting, and painting paintings of George Bush painting. He’s also an ordained minister, and will perform wedding ceremonies for a small donation of $13,000.