How To Talk To Someone Who Has Never Heard Of Your Favorite Show

0
1

There you are, sitting in your 9 a.m. meeting. You watch as Debra throws Michael under the bus for losing the big Portington account when really she was the one who forgot file the acquisition reports. After the meeting, you turn to Doug, who saw the whole thing too, and say, “Man, that was some serious Stringer Bell shit.” Doug looks at you vacantly. “What?” he asks. You impatiently respond, “From The Wire.” He raises his eyebrows and shakes his head no.

Where do you go from there? What can you say to someone who has never even heard of, let alone seen, Mr. Show? Rather than sputtering a series of unintelligible grunts and “pfshaws,” here are a few tools you can use when you find yourself face-to-face with the monster who “doesn’t own a TV” and doesn’t know what Strangers with Candy is.

Enunciate

Enunciate the name of the show very slowly and clearly once more. Odds are, they did not understand you. If they are still in the dark, name every actor in the show, the network on which it aired, and list the years it ran. Follow this up with some google image searches of the show.

Kick Them

Sometimes finding words in a timely manner just isn’t going to happen and you’re better off just kicking them on their bodies.

Change the Subject

Ask them something about themselves, like what they do in their free time, and whether or not there is cell reception and Internet wherever that is.

Involve Them in a Group Discussion

Start a group discussion about your favorite show so they can see that it’s just them. People are more apt to admit that they are stupid and wrong when confronted by multiple peers. This is referred to as the “Gang-Up Effect.”

Walk Away

There’s nothing wrong with just walking away. If they can’t take the time to have seen your favorite show to begin with, maybe they just aren’t worth spending time with. You can’t fix everyone, but it was good of you to try. You are a good person.

 

With these tools, you should be able to navigate your way through most awkward encounters with people who have the audacity to not be privy to your favorite show, unless your favorite show is The Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother. In that case, go fuck yourself.

Ross Kelly wants you to guess what his three favorite shows are.

Image by flickr.

SHARE
Previous articleSyrian Refugee Would Prefer Not To Live In Indiana Anyway
Next article5 Scarves To Protect Your Jugular
Ross Kelly grew up in St. Louis, MO: the land of a thousand arches. It was here that he never did comedy. He would go on to Southern Illinois, where he started doing stand-up and also started not finishing college. In 2012, he moved to Chicago to pursue more comedy, as well as an opportunity to continue not going to school. He is an original member of The Whiskey Journal team, and can make a pretty amazing hollandaise sauce.