Groomsman Relies On Common Sense After Missing Wedding Rehearsal


KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Quickthinking groomsman Rodney Jessel was forced to rely on common sense after missing his brother’s wedding rehearsal, according to multiple sources.

“At first I was mortified about missing the rehearsal, but then I said to myself ‘Hey, I’m not an idiot’ and figured it out,” Jessel, 25, said. He admitted he had never been a groomsman before, but did graduate high school with a 2.8 GPA.

Jessel’s new sister-in-law Jennifer had her reservations about the situation, saying “I know Rodney is a smart guy, but what if he fell or something?” She continued, “This entire wedding is being recorded and we all know how often you watch your wedding video after the wedding.” The marriage was Jennifer’s second, the first being to a drummer.

The groomsman reported that the ceremony was flawless and was proud to apply his knowledge of walking, standing, and smiling to drive his performance home. The groom indicated that he was quite impressed, but still hopes Jessel can make it on time for the next one.

Jeff Arcuri keeps a diary on every wedding he attends and always brings extra deodorant.


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