Donald Trump Sets Conditions For Debates Such As Time Limits And Compulsory Winning

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NEW YORK — Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump addressed the rumors that he won’t participate in debates in an interview on Tuesday, clarifying that he in fact will participate if his conditions, like time limits and him winning the debates, are met.

“I will absolutely do the debates,” Trump said. “No one is better at debates than me. But I have to make sure that the debates are fair. I demand certain conditions such as time limits, my choice of moderator and a guarantee that I will win them.”

The Commission on Presidential Debates is a nonpartisan organization, but Trump expressed concerns about preferential behavior nonetheless. “You think that Hillary Clinton can’t rig the debates just because the debate dates were set before either party had elected a candidate?” Trump bellowed. “That’s ridiculous. Look, I’m not saying that the debates were scheduled by a psychic with Democratic sympathies. I’m just not saying that they weren’t, either. The dates are very unfavorable to me. You know, I’ve got a fake letter from the NFL lamenting the fact that the dates conflict with major football games. The timing is a big disadvantage for me, because we all know liberals are too pale and skinny to appreciate sports.”

When pressed on whether or not he would withdraw from the debates if his terms weren’t met, Trump reportedly said, “Look, they’re going to accept my conditions because my conditions are very good. They’re great. They’re great ideas and the ratings will be off the charts. I did very well in the primary debates.” He continued, “According to many very good blogs, I won every single one.”

The full list of debate conditions haven’t been made public, but the Trump campaign confirmed that some of the terms include a time limit on the debates; Trump’s choice of a moderator; dates that don’t conflict with major sports events, NASCAR races, Pentecostal church services, or any large family barbecues; and no questions on the topics of the economy, employment, domestic or international policy, his tax returns, his relationship with Ivanka, the Constitution, the legality of his proposed immigration reform, or American politics.

“Look, Hillary Clinton was a senator for eight years and is the former Secretary of State,” Trump said. “Clearly, any questions regarding politics would favor her and be biased against me. All I’m asking for is terms that are fair and just. And I will demand fair conditions, absolutely. But I’m confident that with certain conditions, such as better timing, fair moderators, and a script that each party is contractually obligated to follow which includes the lines ‘I am a fraud and Trump should be President and his hands are not small’ for Hillary, I will win the debate.”

Gwen Lawson sets conditions for job interviews such as no background check and no calling of references.

Image by Gage Skidmore.