Dad Prepares Daughters For Abusive Relationships


ROSEPINE, La. — A local father’s Christmas card has garnered a lot of attention this week, thanks to his decision to use an image of his wife and daughters bound and gagged with duct tape while he and his son hold a sign that says “Peace on earth.” The picture has gone viral and, because of its widespread visibility, he wants to ensure that people don’t misinterpret it. As he explained in an anonymous interview, he views the card as an educational opportunity. Namely, he hopes to prepare his daughters to be abused by men.

“It’s important to me to teach them that, fundamentally, they’re just a squawky inconvenience in a man’s world,” he explained. “As their father, it’s my duty to make sure they learn that men can, and will, silence them.”

Though the card has been widely criticized as disturbing, misogynistic, abusive and even nauseating, he laughed off the criticism, saying, “That’s exactly the kind of thing you women say that makes us men want to shut you up.”

“Look,” he said, “this is just a fun little joke, just a light way to make our friends laugh at a holiday card, but I wouldn’t want you to think that the message isn’t serious: if I don’t make every responsible effort to humiliate my wife and daughters into submission, there could be dire consequences. They could become less obedient. They could learn to disagree with me, or contradict me. If I don’t publically remind them that it’s exasperating and unwelcome for them to talk, they could develop voices of their own. And once you slide down that slippery slope, what’s next?! I mean, will women want to vote? Work outside the home and contribute to the economy? Run for elected office? Ridiculous.”

Gwen Lawson has done too much comedy to ever run for elected office.

Image by Hannah Hawkes photography.