Crack Addict Admits To Past Service As Mayor Of Toronto


TORONTO, CANADA – During a candid interview with CBC News, a crack addict admitted that he once served as the mayor of a provincial Canadian town.

“I’m not proud of my past, but yes, I once served as the mayor of a city some describe as the ‘Philadelphia of Ontario,’” said 44-year-old Rob Ford.

The shocking admission came one week after concealed cameras captured a frantic Ford wandering the streets of Toronto, begging passersby for “just another vote, man, just another vote.”

Sadly, Ford is not the first North American drug user to sully his reputation by falling into the sordid world of modern politics.

One American cocaine user, Barack “Barry” Obama, was recently caught on camera serving as the leader of his country’s clownish government, although Obama claims he was simply experimenting with national politics.

And another American marijuana smoker, Bill “Bill” Clinton, famously roamed the streets of Washington, D.C., for eight years searching for his next legislative fix.

But while Obama continues to take desperate pulls from the pipe of public office, Ford can take solace from the recovery of Clinton, who happily ingests a robust cocktail of medication every day, and hasn’t done anything of political consequence for fifteen years.

John Clark believes the first step to recovery is admitting you have political aspirations. The wonderful image was lovingly pilfered from Wikipedia Commons