Comcast Launches Refer-An-Enemy Campaign

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PHILADELPHIA — In an effort to leverage social media and increase its customer base, Comcast launched their “Refer-An-Enemy” program, which will incentivize existing customers to refer their most hated adversaries to the XFINITY network.

“We want to reward our most loyal customers,” said company CEO Brian Roberts in a press release. “This new program gives them the opportunity to share our cable, internet, and telephone services with the people they detest the most.”

Existing customers will reportedly each receive a unique Internet URL they can share with their archrivals and be rewarded with one month of free service if any of their sworn nemeses switch to Comcast. Industry analysts confirmed that sharing Comcast will be very attractive to those customers who want to exact revenge on their abhorrent rivals.

“If you hate someone more than anything else in the world, now you can give them the gift of XFINITY,” said Mr. Roberts.

Final reports showed that the launch was already off to a rocky start when none of the e-mail links were working.

Tommy Molzahn would never do such a horrible thing to anyone.

Image by Mike Mozart.