College Janitor Fired For Solving Nearly Impossible Math Problem On Chalkboard

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PHILADELPHIA — A University of Pennsylvania janitor was fired this week for solving a nearly impossible math problem left on a hallway chalkboard by Advanced Calculus professor, Dr. Simon Manowitz. Manowitz intended for the equation to be worked on for several months and eventually solved by one of his students.

“What the hell was he thinking?” said Manowitz .“It took me like two hours to put that shit up there and he just writes the answer at the bottom? ”

The professor went on to explain the intricate process for solving the equation, none of which was worth quoting.

The fired janitor, Pat Damen, claims to regret the actions that let to his dismissal but has received some positive recognition from neighboring psychology professor, Dr. Rollin Williams.

“Williams has been telling me I’m special for like two weeks,” said Damen. “When he found out I was fired he kept saying ‘It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault.'”

Damen described the event as inequitable and prejudiced, prompting Dr. Williams to say “See? Smart.”

Damen later confessed that he simply remembered the answer from the previous semester, causing Dr. Williams to resign from the university and take on a full time job as a transvestite nanny.

Jeff Arcuri likes them apples and will never solve a math problem for fun. Ever.