Cleveland’s Friends Quietly Give it Six Months, Tops


Cleveland, OH – Two days after Cleveland rekindled its relationship with former flame LeBron James, the city’s closest friends are treating the reunion with a high degree of skepticism.

“You can’t pay a man $80 million to stick around for four years and chalk it up to love,” said Detroit, Cleveland’s longtime friend. “The poor girl’s kidding herself.”

“Cleveland’s the classic city next door: Sweet, down-to-earth, a bit naive,” said Detroit. “LeBron’s just using her to get to his true love, Springfield, Massachusetts.”

The Ohio city and James were together for seven years before the basketball star abruptly left for Miami, a much younger town. During the new relationship, James gave Miami two rings, a luxury he never offered Cleveland.

But not everyone was wary of the news. “LeBron is coming back to Ohio?” said Akron, James’ childhood sweetheart. “I better change out of these sweatpants!”

John Clark doesn’t have talents to take anywhere. Photo via flickr.