WASHINGTON D.C. — The planned Concentration Camps for Children phase, scheduled for month 17 of President Trump’s first term, has arrived precisely on schedule.
The long-rumored ‘CCC Phase,’ as it has been referred to by White House staff since late 2016, kicked into full swing this month in perfect sync with the official timeline set by President Trump and his team.
“Putting children in cages was always one step in the series of absolutely macabre shit we wanted to pull,” said senior White House adviser Stephen Miller. “I am glad there were no delays with this one.”
Staffers hesitated to provide a concrete number of phases planned but provided some details on future phases and did confirm that a phasemap for Trump’s eventual second term is currently being sketched out.
“In month 26 we’re going to excavate Flint and fill it in because we’ve determined that land actually has perfect conditions for truffle farming,” said EPA Director Scott Pruitt.
There are reportedly several more phases on the roadmap for 2018, including the Execute Neighborhood Dogs phase planned to coincide with the November midterms.
Cole Moser is hoping for a centrist 2020 candidate willing to compromise with a little dog murder.
Image by AP.