Chicago Train Caught Fleeing To Miami

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CHICAGO — A Chicago Transportation Authority train launched a failed attempt to flee its frigid home for the warmer environs of Miami, airport officals said Monday.

Upon reaching the end of its route, Blue Line Locomotive No. 465 jumped the tracks and climbed halfway up an escalator at O’Hare International Airport before it was captured by local authorities.

“I saw da train tryin to climb da stairs there and I thought ‘Hey Train, where you going?'” said O’Hare police officer Michael DiCenzo, summoning all of his words. “I called for backup and then we tackled the bastard.”

The train was carrying a boarding pass for United flight 1622 to Miami, a suitcase filled with white linen pants, and 32 injured passengers.

Friends of the train weren’t surprised by the incident.

“465’s been sayin’ crazy stuff all winter,” said Red Line No. 238. “Just been mutterin’ nonsense about palm trees and outdoor pools.”

John Clark enjoys this weather and isn’t ready for spring.

Image by NBC Chicago.