Chef Rick Bayless To Put Own Spin On Mexican Drug Cartels

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CHICAGO — Renowned master chef and TV personality Rick Bayless has announced a new business venture in which he will put his own touch on the infamous drug cartels of Mexico.

“Mexico has such an exciting drug trafficking tradition and I hope to use what I’ve learned while working with cartels across Mexico to provide Chicagoans with some real powerful shit,” said the Frontera CEO.

Bayless told reporters that he recently went to the mountains of Peru to learn about the art and science of growing coca and spent time working with the Sinaloa cartel in Durango and Chiapas to learn about their logistics and customer service practices.

“All of their different operations across the country have the same standard of excellence and it was really inspiring to see them at work,” raved Bayless. “I was not involved in a kidnapping.”

Bayless said he is excited to carve out his place in Chicago’s drug marketplace and invites anyone who is unsatisfied with their current dealers to visit the alley behind any of his restaurants.

“Honestly I don’t even cook anymore,” Bayless said. “Why bother? Enchiladas don’t make you feel like God.”

The restaurateur also announced a new PBS show entitled One Line At A Time, where he will be showing viewers the subtle differences in product that can occur in different regions of Peru and Colombia.

“If you thought my casual lunch spot XOCO was a party, wait until you get a load of this booger sugar,” Bayless said.

Patrick Reilly did cocaine once and thought it was okay.

Image from bencollsuss.