Rand Paul has announced he will seek the 2016 Republican nomination for President, but just who is he? Believe it or not, that chair with all your rumpled shirts and pants on it is not Rand Paul. I know! If you are having trouble differentiating him from the chair in the corner of your bedroom that you toss your daily clothes onto instead of neatly folding them and putting them back in your drawers, then we have just the guide for you! Here are the key differences:
- One has remained rigidly unchanged over time. The other is a Republican.
- One has strict conformist views. The other is a Presidential candidate.
- One is a chair. A chair meant for sitting, but that chair is no longer welcoming to sit on because of all the clothes. The other is a human.
- One is beloved by people of all classes, races, and genders because it is necessary and comfortable. The other is Christian.
- One looks really nice without all the clothes on it. The other is a white guy.
- Bonus Fact: Rand Paul is an eye surgeon. The chair is just a chair, please stop throwing clothes on it.
We hope that clears things up!
Be sure to check back in for more Presidential guides where we help you tell the difference between Hillary Clinton and the loose almonds at the bottom of your purse.
Stephanie Weber wishes Rand Paul was RuPaul.
Image by Gage Skidmore/TWJ.